One of the most painful things about coming to Jesus later in life are the nagging regrets about the lost years and the consequences of poor choices made before your eyes were opened to the truth and the light.

Habakkuk 2:3 describes how ‘revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.’

There was purpose and intent to the timing of God’s unveiling for me. Perhaps part of that purpose was that I would write these thoughts down and that they might touch someone. I know that the sadness I have about my lost years pales into nothing compared with the pain Job and Hosea endured in God’s plan.

Joel 2:25 tells us that God will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.

There is life after death. If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17.

But still, as a husband and a father, there are things that cannot be changed, the consequence of decisions made by a version of me that was impetuous, immature and thought he had it all figured out.

When I was a child I remember being taught at school the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard (Matthew 20). The underlying message that God's grace is not earnt but is a gift was not the one I recall being highlighted at the time. It always confused me. Looking back though, there's another element relevant to those of us called Christ late in the day. That we are as valuable to The Lord as those called early.

If I could go back and do things differently I would. So many things would be easier now if I had realised where the truth lay twenty or thirty years ago. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. But would I have the character I have now, if it weren't for the journey I've been on? When it comes down to it my life is not my own. Christ and the Holy Spirit chose when to bring me to Him. There must have been a reason for that, after all Matthew 7:14 tells us that the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life (Matthew 7:14).

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.

Psalm 39:4-5

Our life in this world is but a breath. Our inheritance is eternal, pure and undefiled.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead.

Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance - an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay.

1 Peter 1:3-4