When Your Wife Does Not Believe

I came to Christ in my late 40's, just over two years ago.

My salvation and my yearning for Christ is not shared by my wife.

I'm not sure if this is a rare scenario or just one that people in my position are ashamed to speak about, but it is one of the hardest things to handle when you are committed to your spouse and understand how your marriage must model Christ's love for and commitment to the Church.

The article below is the first I've come across which seems to understand this situation, even at all biblically. I mean I wish it was just that my wife just didn't take my faith seriously, but the truth is that it is a massive bone of contention; something where we are diametrically opposed.

But Almighty God did not give up on Israel despite it's hardness of heart. Christ gave himself whilst we were still sinners. Ephesians 5 doesn't come with caveats: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

I am convinced that God placed me in this situation for a reason. If it were His will He would bring my wife to Him. I have tried. And there is time. Just because my prayers are not being answered now does not mean they will not be answered. And I know that we are going through other trials which are not lending themselves to the opening of her heart to the Holy Spirit, right now.

But can you imagine having to make a choice between going to Church and honouring your commitment as a husband? Or baptism and your marriage? It is that fundamental. I want to give myself to the Kingdom. But in a word, it ain't that simple.

You may be asking why I don't just put my foot down. I'd ask what kind of marriage would that be.

Yahweh had 400 years to bring Israel round; I don't have that long. There is also childhood trauma and hurt playing into her anger at God. Perhaps I was placed here, now, knowing that it would take time.

When Peter wrote his first letter and addressed wives in the early Church (1 Peter 3:1-2), I believe he was considering the situation where wives were coming to Christ first. He didn't tell them to get indignant, he told them to win their husbands by their behaviour, 'without words'.

And he ended with a note to Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7)

As I finish writing, I'd appreciate your prayers. It is my fervent wish that God works a wonder in our lives and brings my wife to Him. In His time is fine, but it would be nice if it were sooner rather than later 🙂

In Jesus' name.

 

[www.americasfamilycoaches.com/blog/2020...](https://www.americasfamilycoaches.com/blog/2020/3/27/ani0idyaa68uoajwev4hqjyp4fm3sn)

Psalm 116:12-14

What can I offer the Lord
for all he has done for me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation
and praise the Lords name for saving me.
I will keep my promises to the Lord
in the presence of all his people.

Psalm 116 12 14

Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Deuteronomy 31 8

Deuteronomy 14:9-10

Seafood that isn't fish, is just weird.

Deuteronomy 14 9 10

Deuteronomy 13:1-3

A warning against idolatry.

Suppose there are prophets among you or those who dream dreams about the future, and they promise you signs or miracles, and the predicted signs or miracles occur. If they then say, ‘Come, let us worship other gods’—gods you have not known before— do not listen to them.

The Lord your God is testing you to see if you truly love him with all your heart and soul.

Deuteronomy 13 1 3

The Intrigue, 1890
James Ensor (Belgian, 1860-1949)

Deuteronomy 8:3

Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 8 3

Deuteronomy 7:9

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.

Deuteronomy 7 9

Deuteronomy 6:6

These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.

Deuteronomy 6 6

Deuteronomy 5:29 (ESV)

Oh that they had such a heart as this always, to fear me and to keep all my commandments, that it might go well with them and with their descendants forever!

Deuteronomy 5:29

Prayer of Moses After the Crossing of the Israelites Through the Black Sea, 1861
Ivan Nikolayevich Kramskoy (Russian, 1837-1887)

Deuteronomy 5:21

Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, nor his bondman, nor his handmaid, his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is thy neighbour's.

Deuteronomy 5 21

Deuteronomy 5:13-14

Six days you shall labour and do all your work,
but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.

Deuteronomy 5 13 14

Wigmore Church near Ludlow (panel in the Everitt Cabinet)
Samuel Henry Baker (1824-1909)
Birmingham Museums Trust

Deuteronomy 5:11

Thou shalt not idly utter the name of Jehovah thy God for Jehovah will not hold him guiltless that idly uttereth his name.

Deuteronomy 5 11

Image from a 1889 oil sketch of Friedrich Nietzsche on his sick bed by Hans Johann Wilhelm Olde. Goethe-Nationalmuseum, Stiftung Weimarer Klassik und Kunstsammlungen, Weimar, Germany.

Deuteronomy 4:39

Know therefore today,
and take it to your heart,
that the Lord,
He is God in heaven above and on the earth below;
there is no other.

Deuteronomy 4 39

This beautiful painting is by American landscape artist Albert Bierstadt.
Rocky Mountains, "Lander's Peak", 1863
Bierstadt had an extraordinary ability to capture the majesty of wild America - and painting with light.

Deuteronomy 4:30-31 (ESV)

When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the Lord your God and obey his voice. For the Lord your God is a merciful God.

Deuteronomy 4 30 31

'Despair' by Frank Holl. 1881. Oil on canvas. Courtesy of the Southampton City Art Gallery. Catalogue no. 21 in the 2013 Watts Gallery exhibition, Frank Holl: Emerging from the Shadows.

Deuteronomy 4:11-13

And you came near and stood at the foot of the mountain, while the mountain burned with fire to the heart of heaven, wrapped in darkness, cloud, and gloom. Then the Lord spoke to you out of the midst of the fire...

Deuteronomy 4 11 13

'The Giving of the Law from Mt. Sinai', drawing by W. G. Phillips, engraving by Alonzo Chappel. My own colorisation.

Numbers 23:19

God is not man, that he should lie,
or a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Has he said, and will he not do it?
Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?

Numbers 23 19

Numbers 15:37-39

Later, the Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and tell them that throughout the generations to come they are to make for themselves tassels for the corners of their garments, with a blue cord on each tassel..."

Numbers 15 37 39

Numbers 6:24-26

May the Lord bless you and keep you;
may the Lord cause His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
may the Lord lift up His countenance toward you and give you peace.

Numbers 6 24 26

Leviticus 23:3

For six days work may be done,
but the seventh day is a Sabbath of complete rest,
a day of sacred assembly.
You must not do any work; wherever you live, it is a Sabbath to the Lord.

Leviticus 23 3

Painting by Edward Hopper
Early Sunday Morning
1930

Leviticus 20:26

You are to be holy to Me because I, the Lord, am holy,
and I have set you apart from the nations to be My own.

Leviticus 20 26

Leviticus 19:17-18

You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbour, lest you incur sin because of him.

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbour as yourself.

Leviticus 19 17 18

The Neighbours,1859
Ferdinand Georg Waldmüller (Austrian, 1793-1865)

Leviticus 16:20-22

Then a man specially chosen for the task will drive the goat into the wilderness.
As the goat goes into the wilderness, it will carry all the people's sins upon itself into a desolate land.

Leviticus 16 20 22

Leviticus 5:7. Two turtledoves.

Rich or poor, all had their atoning sacrifice.

As Jesus said in Mark 12:44 - For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.

Leviticus 5 7

Leviticus 5:17-19

If anyone sins, doing any of the things that by the Lord's commandments ought not to be done, though he did not know it, then realizes his guilt, he shall bear his iniquity.

Leviticus 5 17 19

Exodus 40:36-38

So the cloud of the Lord was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the Israelites during all their travels.

Exodus 40 36 38

Illustration by Paul Hardy, 'The Pillar of Fire' from The Art Bible, 1896. My own colourisation.